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I am too tired to know anything about you!
Why should I care about you while you don’t to me?
But I still can’t stop talking to you. There is no right or wrong, no should or should’n I talk to you on yahoo mess.
If I was put on sales? Maybe because I has been back to “single”. Maybe someone wants to acquire me but I just don’t give them a chance.
Why can’t you delete yourself in my head?
Today
1:30: feel the freedom
1:45: at Ben Thanh Bus station, too happy to step on the bus no.102
2:30: at school, Career Day, quickly go through companies
- P&G: have applied once but failed. Advice from Thái: “Don’t worry. Try again”
- D2C Capital: have to do intern before becoming permanent employees, not interesting
- Inter Continental: not interesting as I think
- AC Nielsen: does not intend to visit their booth and also don’t think I am suitable to work there but my mind change after talking with the HR advisor. Anyway, cannot believe in the promise of those HR people. I think they are not sure about the working environment in each teams.
2:55: meet Thoai. Just “Hi!”. Nothing to say or no time to say or don’t want to say
3:00: meet Anh 2 Zú. So happy to see Thái and Thảo come back to each other. Nice to see Tung after a long time (2 months I think). THE FEELING OF BELONGINGNESS IS SO GREAT. I feel LIVELY again.
Sometimes in between ask Vu: “ngày 22 due IP rồi mà chưa viết chữ nào”. Câu trả lời của Vũ: “còn tới hơn một tuần nữa mà”
3:45: come to talk to Steve and get some advice:
- Don’t be too emotional
- I am sure you will get well soon. If you quit and run away, nothing can be solved and it just proves to people that what they have thought about you were right.
- You are giving yourself a hard time too. Even if you do something wrong, appreciate yourself that at least you have tried to do that.
- Be positive
- It’s shock to move from school to work but try to move on. You will get better.
- Be strong
- Find a way to answer your boss when she is angry
- Tell her that she frighten you
4:30 come back to dear friends. Think and think and think
5:00 eating and drinking and chatting. [Laugh but Still Sad]
8:00 still drinking and laughing. Wonder how much fun like that I will have in the future, more or less and with who.
9:00 at home, chatting with my sister and get another advice: “When you are angry, don’t lead it to an arguement coz it just makes things worse”
10:00 Tung is home, fine
10:30 chat with Quang
…
If I have a wish, I wish to live my student life again (it’s the most beautiful period I ever had in my life).
Remember when I was in semester 5, I studied 4 courses and also was PR leader of an event. I stayed up late until 3AM just to finish the website for the event. No one pay for me but I was still happy to do that because people who worked with me make me feel good.
But time will never come back…
Now, I have a job and a salary that many of my friends would dream of but I don’t even feel anything good spending that money.
… Tomorrow, follow what Steve says: “be positive”
Feeling like I am wearing a fake face, again.
Ta vẫn chỉ là đưá trẻ
1. Không thể phân biệt đúng sai
Chị supervisor nói mình hay cãi. Nhưng nhiều khi chẳng biết đó là do bản tính hay cãi hay là do mọi người la mình sai. Đã có vài lần bị mắng vì lỗi không phải của mình. Dạo gần đây, hoặc là không thèm thanh minh (vì biết là thanh minh thì còn bị la to hơn), hoặc là thanh minh để rồi không ai hiểu. Rối rắm chẳng biết mình đúng hay sai. Một là cái sự trẻ con của mình đã khiến mình sai mà không biết điều. Hai là mình không đáng bị như thế nhưng vẫn phải lăng lộn chốn làm việc. Mà giả sử mình có vô tộii thì cái đúng lúc nào cũng thuộc về người có quyền.
2. Lơ đãng
Bây giờ bắt đầu tự hỏi, liệu mình có thích hợp với cái công việc này không. Công việc đòi hỏi “pay attention to details” thế mà mình là chúa lơ đãng. Lơ đãng từ ngồi còn mài sách vở trên ghế nhà trường. Ở nhà ba mẹ nói gì, nhiều khi chính mình hỏi xong rồi lại quên. Ở trường thì hiếm khi nào nghe giảng thực sự, ngoại trừ những thầy cô đòi hỏi động não chạy vòng vòng trong lớp học ra, đa phần là não nó ngủ và chỉ tỉnh khi có một vấn đề nào đó khó quá, không giải thích được.
3. Ẩu
Cái này có lẽ là cái tội nặng nhất mà dù mình có làm bất cứ việc gì thì nó cũng là cái nhược điểm bự nhất. Chẳng biết trên đời có bao nhiêu người ẩu giống mình, nhưng mình làm nhiều lỗi mà bản thân mình cũng chỉ muốn gào thét vào mặt mình.
4. Năng lực
Đã từng tự nhận mình là người có trách nhiệm, nhưng khi đi làm mới nhận ra, mình vô trách nhiệm tới cỡ nào. Nhất là cảm thấy có lỗi với BC, nơi mình đã từng góp một phần quan trọng vào đó (và hiện giờ vẫn còn nợ một món nợ to lớn @_@).
Ban đầu thì choáng vì mọi người mong đợi ở mình nhiều quá. Sau đó thì shock vì thấy bản thân cũng không được như mình tưởng. Tự hỏi sao mình tệ quá, sao mình không bằng người này người nọ, tại sao đã một thời gian tự thân vận động thời còn đi học mà vẫn không đưọc như người khác. Bây giờ thì lại sợ mình không bắt kịp mọi người. Cảm thấy mình quá thụ động, quá ỷ lại, và còn một cái nữa là cảm giác khó hoà nhập và hiểu ý người khác.
Cảm thấy con người thật khó lường…
… Ta ghét cái cảm giác sống không cảm thấy an toàn…
… Ta ghét quay trở lại con người lầm lũi của ngày xưa…
Nhớ một lần trong lớp Work Place, cô Linh đã nói chẳng ai tìm ra được công việc thích hợp với bản thân ngay lần đầu tiên… Vẫn biết là thế nhưng thấy loạn choạng như muốn té.
…
Dạo gần đây mỗi lần đi làm về, đợi ở trạm xe buýt, thường thấy xe đưa rước nhân viên của RMIT dừng cho một hai thầy cô xuống ở gần đó. Bỗng cảm thấy nhớ trường da diết, dù mình đã không ít lần nguyền rủa cái ngôi trường đó. Lúc nào xe chạy qua, cũng cố nhìn theo vào trong xe để mong bắt gặp một khuôn mặt quen thuộc nào đó.
Nhớ những ngày còn ở trường, lang thang và tám, vô tư làm sao …
pressssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssure
It seems like everything has just begun…
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………I cry………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………
When will I escape?
Do I have an option to escape?
! Someone please come and take me away with you !
The Decans
In order to give fuller interpretation to the Zodiac Signs, ancient astrologers subdivided each Sign into periods of approximately ten days. These divisions are known as the “decans” or “decantes” and cover modifications of individual traits, attributed to minor planetary influences, which temper or blend with the ruling influence of the period. The ten-day spans are somewhat arbitrary in order to allow for the five (and sometimes six) extra days in the year beyond the 360 days required for the thirty-six decans. According to accepted prodcedure, these days have thus been added to form various six-day periods instead of five. The earliest records of decans have been found inside coffin lids dating from the Tenth Egyptian Dynasty around 2100 B.C. Decans are also mentioned in the Babylonian Enuma Anu Enil, which dates approximately four centuries later. The root of the word “decante” is Greek in origin and means “ten days apart.”
The planetary influences described under the decans are valuable in “shading” the traits of many individuals, but are generally subordinate to the stronger characteristics associated with the primary Zodiac Sign. In some people, the traits of the decans may only be slightly traced…in others, they are very marked. As a general rule, the primary Sign of an individual details his or her characteristics with what can be surprising exactitude, but where such individual traits may seem at variance with the accepted patterns of the Sign, then the answer may be found in that person’s decan. A study of the decans may also reveal hidden factor’s to which a person may be susceptible, even though his or her major traits are fully delineated under his or her primary sign.
Source: http://www.novareinna.com/constellation/
New theme
I change my blog to a new theme, bright and well organised. I should have changed the theme a long time ago 
. As my plan, this new theme should be started since I finished the semester 
But maybe I am not very interested in my blog so I don’t care much about it after the exam.
I choosed this theme when it was still in the second half of last semester. This theme allows me to put my photo so I choose it. But it’s more than that. The meaning of the new theme is about the future, brighter and happier with all the past behind.
- – - – - – - – - – - – - – -
I have had the worst day since I worked at Regus.
God know what worse can happen.
For me
It’s the time not to care about you. The one who actually need care is myself.
Love myself first
Don’t force yourself, dear!
Take it easy but don’t let s.o blind you again,
P/S: maybe I should change the theme of this blog so I can post photo here
Tomorrow
It’s 11:19 pm. I have just got back from BC party 2 hours ago. It was great coz I have been close to people I rarely talked to before.
Now it’s time to think about the near future, tomorrow and nextweek. It seems like I am going to have no weekend over those last weeks of the semester. Suddenly I recognise that these are going to be my last weeks in RMIT, so sad. Time is too short. When I was in earlier semester, I just want to finish, as soon as possible. Now, I still want to finish because I don’t want to use my parents money anymore. But this is the time that I am making most of friends and having so many great friendship, by the end that I am going to leave, so sad.
Next week:
- Logistic presentation finished research and powerpoint slide
- Advertising Creative Brief due in week 10
- Issue Business Report part 1 and 2
- Business Club Sponsorship Proposal should be finished as soon as possible
- Mock interview, Job search (should not be unemployed next semester)
Tomorrow is Ngày mai. I will know the answer from you. Then I will decide on what I have already decided. I know, what I think is going to happen will never happen. God knows what you will tell me tomorrow. It can be neither a continue or an end of our relationship. It can be nothing coz you don’t even have a little bit of time for me. It can be something worse that hurt me, so painful, and kill my soul gradually… gradually.
Anyway, I hope we will have a talk tomorrow, and I have the answer for everything.
Good night,
Cheshire
Schedule
This is the working schedule for tonight. Hope that other nights will follow similarly:
… until 10pm: studying
10pm – 11pm: the proposal
half hour later: the “project”
half hour later: HP
12pm: I love my BED, I love SPLEEPING
Update @ 11:45: is chatting with my closest friend @@. The project will cost me a lot of time but it’s essential
